Specific workplace bullying tactics can run from the obvious and transparent to the remarkably deceitful and calculated. Among the most treacherous of the latter is “gaslighting,” defined in Wikipedia as:
a form of manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or members of a group, hoping to make targets question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, it attempts to destabilize the target and delegitimize the target’s belief.
Gaslighting at work can range from orchestrated, manipulative aggressor-to-target behaviors, to HR officers expressing faux incredulity in response to claims of abusive mistreatment. Gaslighting appears on a recurring basis as a topic of discussion on social media among workplace bullying subject matter experts. It deserves some attention here.
Pop culture origins
Dr. Martha Stout, in her book The Sociopath Next Door (2005), describes the origins of the term:
In 1944, George Cukor directed a psychological thriller entitled Gaslight, in which a beautiful young woman, played by Ingrid Bergman, is made to feel she is going insane. Her fear that she is losing her mind is inflicted on her systematically by Charles Boyer, who plays her evil but charming husband. Among a number of other dirty tricks, Boyer arranges for Bergman to hear sounds in the attic when he absent, and for the gaslight to dim by itself, in a menacing house where her aunt was mysteriously murdered years before.
Naturally, Bergman’s psychological descent is hastened when no one believes her claims.
The almost psychopath as gaslighting expert
I’ve been touting the work of Dr. Ronald Schouten, lead author of Almost a Psychopath: Do I (or Does Someone I Know) Have a Problem with Manipulation and Lack of Empathy? (2012). Ron talked about the almost psychopath at work during a New Workplace Institute program. Here’s how NWI legal intern Kim Webster summarized his remarks:
On average, one person in a hundred meets the clinical definition for psychopathy. However, [Schouten] suggested that maybe we should be more concerned about the 10 to 15 percent of the population that almost meets the definition.
Schouten noted that most disorders are defined by sets of standardized criteria. For psychopathy, a 20-item scale is commonly used, measuring traits such as glibness or superficial charm, a grandiose sense of self-worth, pathological lying, manipulative behavior, lack of remorse or guilt, a shallow affect, and a lack of empathy.
The “almost psychopath” falls short of meeting the criteria for psychopathy, but nevertheless may exhibit many of the most disturbing traits and behaviors. In the workplace, a good number of almost psychopaths engage in bullying. They often escape detection and removal as they charm their superiors and exploit and abuse their peers and subordinates.
I submit that among almost psychopaths, you will find a bevy of gaslighting experts. In fact, the traits that characterize many an almost psychopath — especially superficial charm, pathological lying, manipulative behavior, and lack of empathy — serve up a great skill set for gaslighting practitioners.
Gaslighting at work: Workplace bullying
As Dr. Schouten has observed, almost psychopaths can function and be successful in everyday society. This means, of course, that a lot of almost psychopaths ply their trade in the workplace. And when they engage in bullying behaviors, woe to the targets, especially babes in the woods.
If you’ve ever experienced or witnessed gaslighting as a workplace bullying tactic, then you know what I mean. Manipulative mind games, twisted harassment, and stalking behaviors are often accompanied by denials that anything is going on. The goals are to undermine a target’s confidence, keep the target off-balance, and instill fear and paranoia.
Gaslighting often is discussed in the context of spousal and family relationships. It makes sense, then, that we see so many parallels between domestic abuse and workplace bullying. Perhaps the leap from Ingrid Bergman & Charles Boyer to The Office isn’t much of one after all.
***
This post was revised in March 2017. In addition, I posted a more general piece, “Gaslighting at work,” the same month. The new piece digs a little deeper into gaslighting psychology and relates the behaviors to management practices and opposition to labor unions.
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David, until I read this posting, I was totally unaware of “gaslighting” as a form of targeted bullying. This exactly was one of the many retaliations my managers unleashed against me for complaining about discrimination. Please read the segment on ALIANA’S CASE AGAINST DANA-FARBER CANCER INSTITUTE in: http://www.stopemployerbullying.org:
“…the even greater shock was Dana-Farber’s reaction, when Aliana brought this assault to the attention of her superiors. A meeting of Dana-Farber management, the Hitler admirer and Aliana was held, where the co-worker again flaunted her admiration for Hitler, adding that she would take legal action if there were repercussions to her stating her mind. Dana-Farber’s outrageous response was, as the department head explained to “equally discipline” the assailant and Aliana, as though Aliana had been an equal party to these racially charged taunts. Dana-Farber management nevertheless proceeded to evict her, despite her objections, from the office Aliana had occupied since she began her job there three years prior. They also filed a sanitized memo on the Hitler incidents in the department’s shared computer drive, omitting the most crucial facts, such as the offender’s taunts of admiration for Adolf Hitler, or even any reference to Hitler, thus again implicating both women and thereby discriminating against Aliana, the accosted, and the assailant who had accosted her.
Dana-Farber’s Retaliations
When Aliana discovered and questioned the clandestine filing of this sanitized memo at Dana-Farber and submitted a factual memo of the Hitler incidents, she became the target of a tsunami of relentless, increasingly crueler retaliations starting with an accusation that she “improperly accessed” the sanitized memo and threatened with termination for alleged “improper access of privileged information” in what can only be described as an attempted witch hunt that backfired as the shared drive was known to be accessible by the entire Dana-Farber Development Department and designed that way for efficient collaboration.
After this failed attempt to penalize Aliana and force her to sign her own death sentence on false accusations, Dana-Farber first reduced Aliana’s workload in size and scope and then increased it to humanly unmanageable proportions. …”
Yes, the important thing to notice is tgey manipulate imformation, omit.key thngs, twist logic, exaggerate, dramatise, to frustrate and obscure the truth, use legalistic jargon, try to get you to incriminate yourself by requesting formal appointments without preparation time or warning. They recruit witnesses from people who are weak and sycophantic! They will use innocent and unguarded or humorous comments to twist your meaning and intentions. Orofessional and social jealousy, watch out for it!
I will give you a typical example of gaslighting in my research supervision. . . I was significantly delayed by my research supervisor to finish my doctorate thesis or he would use other delaying tactics such as gaslighting. . . for instance i was asked to put on my ethics form how i would address the issue of interviewing in my research vulnerable people. . . so i put on the form something like ‘anyone receiving a mental health treatment will not be able to participate in this study’ . . . the research supervisor would then tell me something like ‘no, you will go home, and change it to anyone who is a patient of the mental health care system will not be be part of the study’….i also heard from other students that someone was treated by the same person in similar gaslighting manner. . . one student apparently put on the ethics ‘the interview will last an hour’ and the research supervisor would say. . ‘no you will change it to interviews will last sixty minutes’. . . . so these gaslighting techniques left me feeling speechless as I am not used to this style of communication on day to day basis but i understood i was bullied and although i tried to defend myself there were other methods ‘constantly’ employed to sabotage my work and prolong the completion of my studies!
Aliana and Hulaloo, I appreciate your sharing personal experiences. And isn’t it interesting that you are reporting this form of bullying in work settings where indirect forms of aggression can thrive?
Reblogged this on Stop Workplace Bullies…Now! and commented:
Once again, I wish to reblog another great post by my friend David Yamada.
I love the book “Almost A Psychopath” because it gives people who don’t know much about psychology a way to determine if someone’s behavior is a danger to them. If people have more information they make better decisions. “…woe to the targets, especially babes in the woods“, I was a babe in the woods even though I had been workplace bullied before I had never heard of it and certainly could never imagine that a group of people would work together to harm others intentionally, what causes the PTSD is all the layers of people involved from the board of directors to administration to supervisors to fellow staff and then into the community. The target has no idea what the hell is going on. Where I was I believe much of the bullying actually comes from those in power in a dysfunctional village where large numbers of almost psychopaths and psychopaths have gone to the farthest place they can go in the US because they were run off from so many other places. I am much wiser now in many ways with all the information written by so many experts over the years about workplace bullying, bullies and psychopaths. Thank you.
I’ve been gaslighted – by two bosses- and they were horrible experiences. Both in academic environments, which was interesting to note.
Took over 18 mos with the most recent to get my stride back.
Very very difficult. My immediate supervisor shouldn’t have been managing anyone – he was just plain wicked and my staff (7 direct reports) all went over my head and contrived/constructed events that never happened.
My first week on the job I should have seen something wrong when my secretary told me she wouldn’t work for anyone besides the woman (a retiree serving as an interim), in the position prior to my hire.
Now they are hiring someone new. I wish whoever was looking would contact me for information. I could at least tell them to be careful and advise them to find a good mentor – someone who knows the culture and is trustworthy. They are stepping into a poisonous environment. I know I couldn’t share my experiences, but at least I could point them to a couple of solid individuals who might make good mentors.
I had to do a lot of work on forgiveness and meditation to get past this one. Not to mention a couple hundred hours spent with an executive coach over a year’s time.
Ach! I don’t want to get into the story – its just more negativity. But academic environments seem to be particularly vulnerable to toxicity and “gaslighting” – esp given all the egos involved.
I’m looking in the corporate world now, AND interviewing the interviewer to learn if they truly want innovation, diversity, effectiveness, success, change, advancement, business development, more money, expansion, growth, etc. or if they just want status quo – and plenty of downtime for staff to call significant others, shop online, read the paper, fart around.
State institutions sometimes have policies where staff are considered “permanent” (e.g. unable to terminate – seriously) due to union agreements, but new managers are considered “temporary” until they have lasted six or more years. This odd sort of tenure contributes to a closed and toxic culture.
I wish my state would do something about this. It is high time. HArd to understand why an institution would pay me very good money – yet essentially not want me to do the job. And supposedly we are in a financial crisis?
No wonder state institutions get a reputation for wasting money.
This has happened to me within the last 12 months. Nice to know it’s got a name.
I had heard this term before but didn’t connect the dots. Once I started writing up this blog post, I, too, had one of those “aha” moments. In the worst case of workplace bullying I’ve been familiar with, this was one of the tactics used, but I didn’t have the label.
I have a feeling this term resonates specially with many folks whose bullying experiences have led to PTSD.
David,
I was trying to share this on my Facebook. It didn’t seem to work.
Joyce
Colorado Co-coordinator
Joyce, I’m not sure why it didn’t work, but you can always cut and past the link into a Facebook update.
I was a one of those “babes in the woods.” I thought I was losing my mind. I lost all confidence. Nothing seemed real. I developed symptoms of PTSD.
Thanks to my wonderful counselor, who is educated about psychopaths, I know I’m: 1) not crazy and 2) a good person.
So, I’m a good person who is on to the trickery of this breed. Woe to the psychopaths!
I recently got to see that gaslight movie and it does not do justice to the absolute creepiness of workplace gaslighting. I’ve experienced it frequently, including right now when its 20 degrees in my office and the maintenance man keeps insisting that its hot as a ploy to force me out possibly for a competing business in the building. In the past when I experienced more direct workplace harassment I had a friend of the abuser tell me that I “make things up”. There are fucked up people out there, thats all I can say.
“People are fucked up……….” That’s for damn sure. I feel like this is going on where I work and I am fed up! But then, where do you go when this is so pervasive, especially in educational institutions like another poster asserted???
Gaslighting is frequently used by workplace narcissists and bullies to neutralize the competence and, as a result, discredit capable people who are seen as threatening competitors. The gaslighter finds ways to send these individuals on fools’ errands (by catastrophizing, for example). The victim bursts a gut to deal with the urgent assignment or emergency. Then, before an audience, the gaslghter performs the “Emergency? What emergency?” routine, provides information that was withheld from the person being duped and explains that he/she has routinely dealt with the situation. The conscientious victim is made to look ridiculous and hot-headed.
I used to occasionally co-host meetings with a fellow manager who took delight in apparently agreeing with me on an issue before the meeting and then express a completely different view in front of our junior colleagues. I’d challenge her later only to be assured that I’d mistaken her intentions.
What a great example. You certainly had mistaken her intentions. You (honestly and correctly) thought the meeting was about workplace concerns. She (as always with a narcissist) made it about her.
The distraction (aka “problem”) that prevents others from seeing it was…you.
She’s very good at what she does. She looks competent, work doesn’t get done, none of it has anything to do with you. Which may point to a best possible outcome of…you have nothing to do with any of it.
David, I had similar experiences. The strategy of making the conscientious person look ridiculous and hot-headed must be part of the psychopath / narcissist “Gaslighting For the Fun of It” user manual.
People have been trying to understan and explain this for a long time! The first time I saw a book about it was “People of the Lie ” ny M Scott Peck, who also wtote The Road Less Travelled. See the books and videos of Thomas Sheridan, Labyrinth of the Psychopath, Puzzling People, etc., and others about Dark Souls by Sarah forgot her last name, and Narcissists by Sam Vaknin on You Tube. The most important thing is to see it, name it, call it out, leave the area. I know an altetnative therapist who was treating someone who worked with such people and she identified the cause of a cancer cluster, women all with breast cancer, from environmental cause, not the physical building but a toxic person, however mainstream medicine would not recognise this, so they had to keep it secret, protect the perpetrator, a supervisor, and the building was closed down, office relocated. Some women died of cancer. It is insidious. Make no mistake it is always deliberate, and aggression. It can be workplace, family, relationship, friendship and the target is always well intentioned, clean, talented, loving, intelligent, intuitive, creative, ethical, generous, kind, empathic, high emotional intelligence, progressive, honest, can be attractive, that really brings them out!!!! Magnet!
yes, they have a suite of tactics, to protect themselves from being exposed.
Yes they lie and lie! I had to resign from my job last year! I didn’t feel safe anymore after my male Supervisor push me backwards I almost fell and I had had a hip replacement a few months earlier it really scared me! I should of called the Police! Hr believed him when he lied and said he didn’t push me! Even when I was crying and clearly upset they still took his side!
Executive management will almost always believe and support their middle managers over workers. It’s much easier to deal with a subordinate worker in a conflict (i.e., simply attribute blame and then discipline) than it is a manager who will almost certainly misrepresent the incident. If it’s you and the manager, and the executive is in any way inclined to deal with your claim reasonably, they also know investigating the matter where it’s your word against the manager’s will almost certainly get nowhere Workers in that situation very often leave, and the executive knows it. It’s happened to me. It’s happened to many people I know.
Last night I was laying on bed thinking of this unaware that- in fact- it is a tactic used at work. I am going through a similar situation at work. I am the only female in a group of engineers/project engineers and I’ve been living with the fear of being fired for the last 12 months. Impossible tasks, denial of opportunities, complete alienation, no performance reviews/raises for two years- yet, everybody is so friendly!- yet, the rumors of my termination are there for me to hear everyday.
“Gaslight” referred to the domestic situation. As your contributors have noted it is a common, usually unacknowledged event in the workplace. I am interested in the broader field – criminal behaviour, stalking and harassment. If anyone could point me in the direction of a good authority in the broader area, I would be grateful.
I have had similar experiences at work and in other real-world experiences (ahem – my mother for one). But, because my mother is about the scariest narcissistic woman on the planet and would give even the most mentally sound person cause to babble incoherently – workplace bullying doesn’t work on me very well. It might sound paranoid – but document your communications, if someone tells you to do something, don’t do it without an email or written somewhere etc. This cuts down on B.S. If they say things to you when you’re alone with them that are just too weird or hostile – then don’t be alone and do not fall into their trap. If you end up being along with them and they do their thing then usually not reacting or smiling blithely unnerves even the worst bully/psychopath/narcissist (remember they’re the crazy one not you).
There is nothing written down that says you have to act a certain way to people when they do things – psychopaths rely on a person’s emotions and reactions. I cannot tell you how many times I have yet to see a “gaslighter” stare at me waiting for a response and then sort of cock their head to the side (like a dog hearing something) when I react in a way that isn’t expected. Usually if it’s hostile, a blank look is all I can muster (if I don’t know them or haven’t expected it) – however a smile is just as unnerving to them.
There was one dude who was openly hostile toward women (he happened to be my manager) but did it in the guise of a joke. Most women would react one of two ways – horrified and angry or nervous and trying to laugh. I didn’t do either – I would watch him in his antics (usually he dry-humped office machinery, flipped people off, or did other juvenile acts), show absolutely no emotion and either walk away (if it was in a common area) or start talking about the next bullet point on our meeting agenda as if it never happened. He tried intimidating me, calling me names when no one was around – all of the things you can’t believe (saying he never received files – this didn’t work since I would bcc his manager on stuff). He did not touch me though (thank god, I would have broken his hand) – but I think that he probably would have if he thought he could get away with it. The thing is though – because of my non-reaction he did not find it fun or entertaining to mess with me and would often go and pick on another target. And yes – I did notify HR about his behavior and yes, he was reprimanded etc. But he wasn’t fired – he eventually quit for a better position elsewhere. Which sort of points out corporate mentality – the corporation doesn’t care as long as that individual produces results. I think that for the most part anyone on the receiving end of bullying, verbal abuse, gaslighting at work probably doesn’t want to rock the boat because they are the underling, low on the totem pole and doesn’t want their reputation to be smeared. Also the mental grief of starting a complaint and the scrutiny that comes with it. It’s no wonder people like him continue to thrive/flourish.
I just hope that any individual on the receiving end knows that they aren’t the crazy person and that they don’t have to let the psychopath control their reaction.
Reblogged this on Blogging in Chaos and commented:
Let’s hope that I never find myself in this situation and, conversely, never the one doling it out. This type of leadership clearly is the result of someone who is a controlling, insecure, micromanaging, bullying sociopath.
People refuse to believe the extent to which a bully will go to gaslight their target. I was warned that my supervisor, a tenured academic, would “change my work” and claim I made errors I did not make, warned by a previous target who was fired. I, like most people who have yet to be bullied, didn’t believe her. Then, when the bully eventually targeted me, I learned in spades that her gaslighting tactics were her favorite implement of bullying–she would alter my work before it was turned in for approval to another university department, so that it came back with “errors” red-lined that needed to be “corrected.” She didn’t even care that I had proof–the original copies I’d kept that showed I didn’t make the mysteriously appearing “error”–but brushed these instances off, always making some excuse for why the error had appeared while the document was in her hands (Oh, I must have sent a previous draft!–when even the previous draft didn’t contain that error). When I’d collected evidence of the gaslighting and showed it to a superior in the department, he refused to even look at my evidence, likely believing I was “crazy” for claiming the bully was actually inserting errors in my work, even when I told him I wasn’t the only research assistant this had happened to. I am now an “unperson” to that department, which I became even in the last days of my employment, prior to quitting (I was ignored by most others, as if I didn’t exist–people who previously stopped by to chat with me would walk past my door and not even glance in, as if I wasn’t there.)
I’ve seen this happen a lot and had it done to me. Where I’ve gone home and thought that I was going crazy!
And no one else seemed to be aware of what was going on.
Also I have had the misfortune to work with complete psychopaths and it’s not pleasent especially with them manipulating everyone of importance. And everyone saying how wonderful they are and how caring!
yet I knew the grim reality which no one was willing to listen to.
It really frightens me in the care sector at how many mentally disturbed people work in this sector and get away with dangerous and psychotic behaviour! But because they can manipulate the idiot in charge it’s swept under the carpet and excepted.
I remember one occasion, where I felt compelled to report a colleague for some strange and out rite psychotic behaviour ,which was endangering the lives of the patients.
I was dragged into my managers office and told that this person is a nice and how dare I say such things! Never mind that I had provided PROOF and it went on from there!
She came to me after and said in a low voice ‘I’m perfect I never do anything wrong’.
And in my managers eyes she was even though she was leaving people in there own filth and giving them the wrong medication and breaching pretty much the entire rule book!! But to my manager and higher management she could do no wrong.
I found this article to be an excellent primer for people who’ve been subjected to gaslighting. It’s not written to address a workplace situation, but the technique is the same and responses could be similar!
View at Medium.com
Very interesting discussion. I’m sorrry to hear other people have dealt with this difficult situation.
I recently left a job where this sort of thing happened. I had always thought of gaslighting in relationships and hadn’t realized it also can happen in the workplace. I reported to the owner and it was a small company, so there was no HR or similar to discuss it with.
When I started working there, I accepted a relatively low starting salary because the company was just starting out. he promised that raises and bonuses would be coming as soon as we increased the number of clients. He never came through with any of those promises. After more than a year I was still earning the same meager salary. I did something that supposedly would have earned a bonus and then he refused to pay it. Whenever I tried to discuss these issues, he always reneged on the promises by saying that I must have misunderstood – what had I accomplished was not what he meant when he mentioned the bonus, or that the raises were only for a very specific situation. Of course, I know what he said, and he never mentioned all these caveats when he made the promises.
In another case, he said that he may need a bit of support from me on a new project. I was asked to attend a meeting with the client and several other co-workers. In the meeting, he ambushed me, presenting me as one of the leads on the project. I was supposedly part-time and already working more than that. Being a lead on that project was nothing we had discussed and there was no way I had time to take on that much additional work. I started to have a panic attack in the meeting. Later, I told him that I couldn’t be involved in that project due to all my other responsibilities and I didn’t appreciate him presenting me as one of the leads out of the blue. He started again to say I must have misunderstood or that he may have expressed himself unclearly, that he only needed my assistance with one thing, and that the client didn’t care who did the work. That was a total lie! I was in the meeting and heard everything that was said. When he introduced me and the other woman as the leaders of the project, he stressed our experience as a big selling point. The client said that he was very glad to know that experienced people would be working on the project and he didn’t want interns, students, etc. involved in the project.
I know that either he would have tried to pressure me to take a wider role in the project, or if not, he’d ask me to attend the client meetings and act like I was leading up the project to perpetuate the lie that he told the client. EIther way, it wasn’t something I wanted to be involved with. It was just so unethical and unprofessional. So, I decided to give notice. I really hated the way that he, as the owner refused to take responsibility for things he had said. That is no way to run a company.
I am sorry to see all these examples of gaslighting happening to people and how actually diverse they are.
I have a similar thing happening to me now. I had not realised it until today, when I came across some article in Guardian…
I have a position of senior specialist at the company and my boss recently recruited a new team member for an open junior position. She is on the probation period, but already plays her games.
Her knowledge of computer really suck, complete lack of basics – yet she has 15 years of professional experience. I am responsible for on the job training, but had to start with explaining the basics – outlook, lync, word, etc. During the first month it became clear she had targeted me – she would follow me everywhere, even to the toilet, touch me, when talking to me, sit so close to me that our shoulders would get into contact, interrupt me in the middle of my tasks by asking if she can look at my screen. In general, she is also trying to interfere with my senior specialist tasks. And at the same time does very little progress with work, behaves egoisticly – as if all 40h/week have to be devoted to her training (I had to work over hours to perform ongoing tasks, because during the normal time she was so time consuming). Enough is enough, so I called a meeting with my boss, told him about all situations and informed him that I will conduct the feeback meeting with this team member. And then I informed her that she is learning very slowly, consumes a lot of my time, cannot perform the tasks independently and that we need to speed up the pace of the training, since a new person is joining soon. I also emphasised, advised by my boss, that she is invading my personal space and I feel unconfortable with this. The whole conversation was to me some misunderstanding. She was very polite and thanked for feedback, but actually denied everything and justified her poor performance with me focusing only on the theory during the training (which was obviously not true). She replied to my argument about invading personal space by saying that it is a surprise to her, because she was trying hard to give me a lot of space
I was utterly shocked, but remembered her once saying she needs to attend psychologist’s visits regularly, so everything seemed clear. I just thought she is mentally unstable. Never thought yet this was an intended manipulation.
One month passed and rather little improvement happened (she only stopped following me; on the contrary – started explicitly avoiding to have lunches together). Moreover, she told another new team member (who is learning very quickly, btw.) that I do not allow her to ask me questions and that my training methods are not good enough. Finally, my boss and the director invited her for the meeting and communicated the last chance for improvement, otherwise the contract will not be signed. And I was again blamed by her for the poor performance – e.g. that I never gave her the feedback, that she is surprised and she requests weekly feedback sessions. The next day she also attacked me at the dining room in the presence of another person calling me a coward for not telling her directly about the poor performance, but talking only about it behind her back to our boss… I took her for a 1 to 1 and it was all the same again. I enumerated examples of tasks performed by her with a delay, in a bad quality (or not at all). She denied remembering these situations and got aggressive after mentioning some specific situation (to which I had a witness actually). All got converted into me not giving negative feedback, me bing a poor trainer, her perceiving the previous meeting as a positive feedback session, her emphasisng that she is ambitious and tries very hard to learn everything and lastly, her emphasising that we need to work together (“team work is such a great word”) and that she feels often excluded from our team… Crazy. Of course I provided counter arguments (like “I have e-mails for all of this, so do not pretend it did not happened”), but the whole conversation left me aghast again.
In general I am at the stage of going soon to the director and saying “either you do not sign contract with her and I stay, or you keep her and I accept the first job offer I receive” (I get a lot of these on regular basis and actually started participating in a few recruitment processes just to have the leverage). But I am happy to have discovered the phenomenon of gaslighting. I just know now I cannot conduct 1 to 1 conversations – everything only in the presence of my boss and via e-mails, to have the proofs and witnesses.
I have a similar story, however my gaslighter has been following me around for almost 6 years and across two states. I have been gaslit at almost every job I have had in the last two and half years. I have had probably 11-12 jobs in that time period with only one not gaslighting me. Which eventually did happen after a certain female got hired. And yes when you describe her she sounds like a psychopath.
I mean I have had lots of strange things happen to me, from meeting celebraties who I used to have crushes on, to seeing people wait for me outside of my job in the parking lot, to being gaslit at every job I have had in the last 5 years across two states. With even local police participating in the behavior.
Seriously, if you had me me 6 years ago and then met me again now you would see how much of a difference person I am. With much of my personality becoming more negative to the things around me. And financially as well. I didn’t have alot a few years ago, but I had enough. Now I can barely scrape by. I can’t go more than two or three days before someone says or does some really fucked up shit. It happens all the time and I see the same behaviors and the same people in a different state, and yet no one will believe I am being stalked.
Reblogged this on Digital learning PD Dr Ann Lawless.