When Dr. Shelley Lane was experiencing severe bullying at the community college where she worked and recovering from foot surgery that limited her mobility, she retrieved the personal journals she wrote during a formative year spent studying abroad as a young undergraduate and turned them into a book project. In the Preface to her eventually published A Stirling Diary: An Intercultural Story of Communication, Connection, and Coming-Of-Age (2010), she writes:
Soon thereafter fate provided me with two reasons why I should read them again: a new president at the community college where I worked who made Attila the Hun appear weak and timid, and foot surgery that had me in crutches for four months. I finally returned to the journals to keep my mind away from the workplace bully and to forget that I wasn’t easily mobile.
Some 20 years after her sojourn abroad, she found in those journals “entries written by a young woman who was in the midst of a personal transformation.” Thus would emerge A Stirling Diary, a reflective travelogue that concludes with her return to the U.S. and her departure for graduate school.
For some, delving into a positive, engaging, and immersive activity may serve as a healthy alternative to ruminating over a terrible work situation. This may be in the form of a hobby, a personal project, an avocation, volunteer work, or creating a side business. Shelley Lane did just that as she stepped back in time with her study abroad journals in the midst of her experience with workplace bullying.
Therapy or counseling, and mindfulness activities such as yoga or meditation, may be helpful for coping with bullying at work. In addition, consider the possibility of a meaningful, life-affirming endeavor in which you can lose yourself in a good way.
I emphasize words such as meaningful and immersive. I am well aware that this is not as simple as picking out a hobby or pastime from some random list. (In this context, “Why don’t you try collecting coins?” is about as helpful as “You need to get over it.”) Rather, it’s about connecting to a positive activity decoupled from work. It will not address the bullying itself, but it may well provide a safe and enjoyable space away from it.
Back to our story
For Dr. Lane, the story continues toward a good ending. She would leave her position at the community college and land on her feet, obtaining an appointment as an associate dean and professor at the University of Texas-Dallas, her current employer.
I discovered Shelley’s book because I was searching around for study abroad memoirs. As a collegian, I was fortunate to experience a life-changing semester overseas, so much that the academic geek in me periodically keeps up with the study abroad literature. I certainly wasn’t looking for any references to workplace bullying when I ordered her book! After spying Shelley’s reference to her work experience, however, I contacted her and found that she had done quite a bit of research on workplace bullying and had written a short piece reflecting upon her experiences. Here’s part of what she shared with me in an e-mail (reprinted with her permission):
By the way, I was working on a second writing project while putting together A Stirling Diary. I knew that the only way I could be hired at a university was to have a publication. At this point, I had quite a few articles published, but a book was my ticket out of [the community college]. So on some days I worked on my memoir and on other days I worked on my interpersonal communication textbook. I recall being “in the zone” as I worked on these projects, which was crucial to my mental health. Any time my mind was not engrossed in project or activity, I’d think of Cary [ed. note: Her tormenter] and how I was treated unfairly. Logically, I knew that the cortisol streaming through my system was harmful, but emotionally I couldn’t stop myself from becoming furious whenever I thought of Cary. The books most definitely helped me cope, and the textbook helped me land the job at UT Dallas.
In Shelley’s case, not only did she immerse herself in a project that took her back to a very meaningful time in her life, but also she worked on a second book project that helped to open the door to future opportunities.
Equally important, the warm and spirited tone of our e-mail exchange tells me that Shelley has bounced back, replete with a good job at a better institution, and with life, mind, and soul in a better place. For those who have experienced severe bullying at work, this type of recovery and renewal is the gold standard.
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