Shelley Lane’s broad-ranging look at incivility

I’m delighted that Dr. Shelley Lane’s (U. Texas-Dallas) Understanding Everyday Incivility: Why Are They So Rude? (Rowan & Littlefield, 2017) has now been published. I was honored to write the Foreword, and I’d like to draw on it for this post.

Everyday Incivility is an informed, wide-ranging, and provocative examination of a topic that carries everyday significance. As Dr. Lane points out in the first chapter, this is not a volume about manners and etiquette. Rather, here we find civility and incivility observed and interpreted through the lens of a communications scholar and teacher who happens to be a thoughtful human being. The volume examines civility and incivility in multiple settings, including workplace tensions (naturally!), family disputes, road rage, online behavior, relationship issues, school dynamics, politics, community relations, and more — all framed by a communications perspective.

The book is neither a breezy self-help manual nor a heavy academic tome. Written in an accessible style, it is backed by research and insights that lift our overall grasp of the topic. It’s a humane and stimulating invitation for all of us to navigate this challenging world with more heart quality.

By the way, my original introduction to Shelley had nothing to do with workplace stuff! A few years ago I was researching online for memoirs of study-abroad experiences, and I discovered Shelley’s book recounting her junior year at the University of Stirling in Scotland. You can read the full story about how our paths crossed here!

An afternoon off

Let me start off by admitting that managing work-life balance is not one of my strengths. I tend to get wrapped up in the various projects I’m working on, and it just so happens that I have a lot of them competing for my attention right now. I truly enjoy genuine down time, but I don’t build enough of it into my schedule.

Yesterday I waved the white flag of surrender, dropped a book and some magazines into my backpack, and took the subway into downtown Boston. There I went to a Pret a Manger sandwich shop/cafe, bought some lunch, and commandeered a comfortable seat and small table for the afternoon. Pret is a chain, and I’ve noticed that each Pret store tends to adapt to its space and location in terms of look & feel. This Pret is odd in a good way. It’s in the heart of the city’s Downtown Crossing area, and it’s very busy during peak weekday hours. However, outside of those times, it feels more like a spacious, hang out-type cafe. Plus, the food and beverages are good.

The book was a strategic choice: Don Winslow’s The Force, a gritty and gripping cop novel set in today’s New York City. It’s really, really, really good. Between various obligations and the overall state of the world, I’ve had trouble maintaining focus on books read purely for pleasure, but The Force is drawing me in easily. Winslow is a great storyteller who has done his homework on creating a realistic backdrop. If you like your crime/suspense novels in the cozy zone, then I’d suggest skipping this one. But if you like them with big doses of in-your-face real, then I highly recommend it.

Anyway, now that I’ve done a few product endorsements (Pret and Winslow, you’re welcome), back to my point about taking an afternoon off. Being a nostalgic sort, this reminded me of days as a young Legal Aid lawyer in New York City. Money was tight, so vacations involving travel were out of the question. Instead, I found myself using vacation time in one and two day chunks, taking what are now called staycations. One of my favorite pastimes was to pack a few books and find a place to read them over a cheap lunch and something to drink.

This made for a welcomed afternoon mini-vacation. I need to do this more often. A good book, some coffee and a morsel or two, and I’m good to go for the next time!

Coming attraction: “Workplace Bullying and Mobbing in the United States”

Scheduled for publication in December 2017 is Workplace Bullying and Mobbing in the United States (Praeger/ABC-CLIO), a two-volume, multidisciplinary book project, edited by Dr. Maureen Duffy and me, and featuring chapters authored by some twenty contributors.

Here are some highlights from the publishers’ book webpage (still in progress):

Workplace Bullying and Mobbing in the United States provides a comprehensive overview of the nature and scope of the problem of workplace bullying and mobbing. By tapping the knowledge of a breadth of subject experts and interpreting contemporary survey data, this resource examines the impact of bullying and mobbing on targets; identifies what constitutes effective prevention and intervention; surveys the legal landscape for addressing the problem, from both American and (for multinational employers) transnational perspectives; and provides an analysis of key employment sectors with practical recommendations for prevention and amelioration of these behaviors.

The contributors to this outstanding work include researchers, practitioners, and policy and subject-matter experts who are widely recognized as authorities on workplace bullying and mobbing, including Drs. Gary and Ruth Namie, cofounders of the U.S. workplace anti-bullying movement; Drs. Maureen Duffy and Len Sperry, internationally recognized authorities on workplace mobbing; and professor David Yamada, leading expert on the legal aspects of workplace bullying. The set’s content will be of particular value to scholars and practitioners in disciplines that overlap with American labor and employee relations, industrial/organizational psychology and mental health, and law and conflict resolution.

Features

  • The first comprehensive, multi-contributor book on workplace bullying and mobbing grounded in American employee relations
  • An ideal starting place for anyone seeking to better understand the breadth and depth of research on workplace bullying and mobbing in the United States
  • Features contributions from leading researchers and subject-matter experts on workplace bullying and mobbing, including some who are founding members of the U.S. Academy on Workplace Bullying, Mobbing, and Abuse
  • Summarizes and analyzes leading research for scholars and researchers in industrial/organizational psychology, clinical and counseling psychology, organizational behavior and communications, business management, law, and public health

We will be sharing more about the specific chapters and authors in the months to come. The two volumes will total approximately 600 pages. Alas, this will be a pricey acquisition, aimed toward academic and professional audiences and libraries, with the list price of $131 set by the publisher.

The U.S. focus of the book set is not an attempt to be parochial or insular, but rather a recognition that American employee relations with regard to bullying and mobbing behaviors has unique characteristics, not all of them positive. Accordingly, we wanted to offer research and commentary written by a primarily American group of contributors, using — whenever available — research and analysis grounded in U.S. workplaces.

This project traces its origins to the publisher’s invitation to Dr. Duffy to submit a proposal for a two-volume set on workplace bullying and mobbing. Maureen, in turn, enlisted me as a co-editor. During the past year and a half, I have learned tons from Maureen about the care and feeding of such an ambitious project. We’re very excited about this book set, and we believe it will be a meaningful and comprehensive contribution to our understanding of workplace bullying and mobbing behaviors and how we can respond to them.

School’s out (sort of), and summer beckons

In Boston, the weather isn’t quite there yet. I took this photo of the park near my home in the Jamaica Plain neighborhood a couple of years ago.

Hello dear readers! Classes have just finished up at my university, and I’ll be grading exams and papers for the next couple of weeks. I’m also gearing up for a busy summer of writing projects, organizing work, and speaking commitments before returning to classes in late August.

What follows is a mish-mash of items that may be of interest:

Essay about blogging

Osmania University, one of India’s oldest and largest universities, invited me to contribute an essay about an aspect of my work to a volume of commentaries in honor of its centennial celebration. I opted to write a piece about how this blog has allowed me to share ideas and information with a diverse audience inside and outside academe. Titled “Blogging About Work, Workers, and Workplaces,” the essay emphasizes the public education work I’ve been doing concerning workplace bullying and worker dignity through this blog. The book — Insights on Global Challenges and Opportunities for the Century Ahead — has just been published, and you may access a pdf of the full e-edition here (beware, it’s a huge file), with my piece appearing on page 107.

Happy 100th to Osmania U!

Speaking appearances

I’ll be heading off to participate in two of my favorite conferences this summer:

Work, Stress and Health Conference, Minneapolis, MN (June)

The biennial Work, Stress and Health Conference is co-hosted by the American Psychological Association, the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, and the Society for Occupational Health Psychology. I’ll be participating on two panels this year:

  • A panel titled “Trauma-Informed Best Practices for Responding to Workplace Bullying and Mobbing,” with Drs. Gary Namie and Maureen Duffy, during which I’ll be discussing how research insights on psychological trauma can inform employment lawyers and other legal stakeholders; and,
  • A panel titled “Non-standard work arrangements: A discussion of taxonomy and research priorities,” organized by researchers at the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, during which I’ll be discussing legal and policy issues covering workplace safety and health for independent contractors and other “gig economy” workers.

If you’d like a sense of why I value this conference so much, two years ago, Psychology Benefits Society, the blog of the APA’s Public Interest Directorate, shared my write-up on the 2015 gathering, “Conferences as Community Builders.”

International Congress on Law and Mental Health, Prague, Czech Republic (July)

The biennial International Congress on Law and Mental Health is sponsored by the International Academy for Law and Mental Health. I’ll be part of two panels this year:

  • A panel announcing and discussing the launch of the International Society for Therapeutic Jurisprudence, a new, non-profit learned society dedicated to supporting therapeutic jurisprudence, the school of legal philosophy and practice that examines the therapeutic and anti-therapeutic properties of law and public policy, legal systems, and legal institutions; and,
  • A panel titled “Therapeutic Jurisprudence in Higher Education,” during which I’ll be presenting a short paper on”Addressing Workplace Bullying, Mobbing, and Incivility in Higher Education: The Roles of Law, Cultures, Codes and Coaching.”

As the panel topics suggest, this conference is a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with friends and colleagues from the therapeutic jurisprudence community. I did a write-up on the 2015 conference in Vienna, Austria here, as well as a little travelogue summary posted to my personal blog here.

Wallet Hub feature on securing entry-level jobs

If you have kids who are in college or otherwise preparing to enter the workforce, or if you’re planning a return to the workforce yourself, you may find helpful this extensive WalletHub.com piece on securing entry-level jobs. I was among those interviewed for an “Ask the Experts” advice section on screening and evaluating entry-level job opportunities.

Notable books

I like to feature interesting books in this blog, but I’ve been negligent about tagging relevant posts in the “notable books” category. To remedy that, I spent a chunk of time going back to previous posts that discuss important books and adding the tag. You can scroll through those posts here.

The privilege of thinking abstractly and the obligation to pay it forward

I’ve often remarked here that one of my favorite writers is Charles D. Hayes, author of wonderful books that integrate themes of adult learning, practical philosophy, and life’s second half. Currently I’m slowly savoring his 2003 novel, Portals in a Northern Sky, a unique work that I can best describe as a multi-character philosophical journey, with a sci-fi, time-crossing element to it. It’s also an ode to Charles’s adopted home of Alaska.

In Portals, philosopher and bookstore owner Ruben Sanchez engages Bob Thornton, an ex-Wall Street trader, in an ongoing dialogue about the meaning of life. Here’s a snippet from Ruben that caught my eye:

There are two types of people in the world, my friend: those who live a concrete existence and those who live in abstraction. The difference is surprisingly simple, and, of course, it’s a matter of degree because all of us require some of both. The people who live in the concrete world lack basic wealth and spend most of their time in a perpetual struggle for survival. Abstraction is a luxury engaged in by people whose fundamental material needs are no longer important issues. What’s misunderstood by those who profess to know how people should be educated is that to be truly educated a person must be able to reside in both worlds at all.

The Sanchez-Thornton dialogues are just one ongoing storyline in the novel. You’ll encounter many other interesting characters and ideas.

Boiled down Maslow?

Ruben Sanchez’s words sound like a boiled down take on psychologist Abraham Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs. In a classic Psychological Review article published in 1943, Maslow grouped human needs into the following categories, organizing them as a hierarchy: At the base are “physiological needs” such as food, clothing, and shelter, that are central to our survival. Next are “safety needs” such as personal health, security, and financial security. The “love needs” for close human relationships comprise a third layer, and “esteem needs” for belonging in society, make for a fourth. Finally, “self-actualization,” the full realization of one’s potential, stands atop the hierarchy.

Paying it forward

Whether we’re looking at human development through the eyes of philosopher Hayes or psychologist Maslow, I submit that those of us whose basic survival needs are met have a moral obligation to pay it forward in some meaningful way. This includes helping others meet their survival needs and playing some tangible part in making the world a more decent, humane place.

I realize that not all readers are in such a privileged position. (For example, a good number originally find this blog because they are enduring horrible situations at work that are threatening their health and livelihoods.) However, those who enjoy the luxury of living largely in the world of abstraction — engaging ideas, meaningful initiatives and actions, and the meaning of life — have many opportunities to change our world for the better. Whether one believes in fate, random luck, or something in between (another theme running through Portals in a Northern Sky), such an advantage should not be squandered.

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Related post

The social responsibilities of intellectuals at a time of extraordinary human need (2013, rev. 2017)

Thinking big thoughts about our lives and our work

(image courtesy of all-free-download.com)

Folks, I’ve collected 18 past articles from this blog that invite us to think about big picture aspects of our lives and our work. You’ll find some overlap between them — at least I’m pretty consistent! — but I hope you’ll find this useful for self-reflection, taking stock, planning, and dreaming.

From hoop jumping to legacy work and places in between (2016) — “I’d like to return to questions of how we can make a difference during our lives — in whatever sphere(s) we deem important — by putting on a spectrum the notion of hoop jumping on one end and the concept of legacy work on the other. Please allow me to engage in some Sunday meandering….”

Charles Hayes on the ripples of our lives (2016) — Home-brewed philosopher and writer Charles D. Hayes is one of my favorite contemporary thinkers. . . . Yesterday he published a blog piece, “Life’s Purpose: Ripples,” that I’d like to share with you. Here’s a snippet: ‘If you ask people how they would like to be remembered, you will likely be met with silence, often with a look of bewilderment. Legacy is not something that most people give a lot of conscious thought to apart from material bequests. Psychologically though, at a deep subconscious level, how and for what we will be remembered is far important than many of us realize. For some of us this becomes clear as time passes.’

With “encore careers” increasingly for the wealthy, avocations and hobbies should take center stage (2016) — “For years, I’ve been promoting immersive avocations and hobbies as potential keys to a fulfilling life. They may include artistic and creative endeavors, outdoor and sporting activities, caring for animals, political and social causes, side gig businesses, intellectual projects, lifelong learning, community and faith-based service, or enjoyable pastimes. In unusual instances, that avocation or hobby could transform into a decent paying, full-time gig. But even if it doesn’t, it can fill a gap in one’s life left by the intersection of work and personal obligations. Such activities may be enormously fulfilling and meaningful.”

Defining, refining, creating, and redefining your body of work (2015) — “…[m]y current interest in this topic has been piqued by a recent book, Pamela Slim’s Body of Work: Finding the Thread That Ties Your Story Together (2013). . . . Having spent some time with it, I’d suggest that it also can help us think about our lives more holistically, starting with her definition of ‘body of work’: ‘Your body of work is everything you create, contribute, affect, and impact. For individuals, it is the personal legacy you leave at the end of your life, including all the tangible and intangible things you have created.'”

David Brooks and his “moral bucket list” (2015) — “Brooks’s moral bucket list is comprised of the ‘experiences one should have on the way toward the richest possible inner life.’ They include a shift toward humility, confronting self-defeat and our own weaknesses, accepting ‘redemptive assistance from outside,’ experiencing and giving ‘energizing love’ with others, finding our callings, and embracing a sense of conscience.

Holiday reads: Fueling heart, mind, and soul (2014) — “If you’re looking to get beyond the hurly-burly of holiday consumerism, here are three books that will put you in a more thoughtful and reflective frame of mind. I’ve recommended them before, and I’m happy to do so again.”

“The Shift: Ambition to Meaning” (2014) — Until recently, I regarded Wayne Dyer as an inspirational speaker who is frequently trotted out by PBS during its fundraising drives to give an extended talk on personal growth, interspersed with program hosts pitching for contributions. . . . But I started looking at his work much more closely after viewing “The Shift — Ambition to Meaning” (2009), a full-length movie with Dyer and an ensemble of actors including Michael Marasco, Portia de Rossi, Michael DeLuise, Shannon Sturges, Ethan Lipton, and others.

Taking stock at midlife: Time for reading assignments? (2014) — “In Modern Man in Search of a Soul (1933), psychiatrist Carl Jung asked, ‘Or are there perhaps colleges for forty-year-olds which prepare them for their coming life and its demands as the ordinary colleges introduce our young people to a knowledge of the world and of life?’ He answered: ‘No, there are none. Thoroughly unprepared we take the step into the afternoon of life; worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and ideals will serve us hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the programme of life’s morning – for what was great in the morning will be little at evening, and what in the morning was true will at evening have become a lie.'”

Transitions and inner callings (2014) — “A lot of people who find their way to this blog are in transitional stages of their work lives, often because of bad experiences at a current or previous job. Some are contemplating a change of employers or even vocations. What’s next? Concrete stuff like finances and living expenses obviously come into play, and the practical challenges of paying the bills may compete with attempts to engage in big picture thinking about one’s life. Nevertheless, we shouldn’t avoid looking inward, in some cases digging deep to turn a setback into an opportunity to consider and create options. For those in this position, William Bridges’s Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes (rev. ed., 2004) may be very useful.”

Personal reinvention: Take a look at “50 over 50” (2014) — This week, the Huffington Post has been running a terrific five-day series, “50 over 50,” profiling 50 individuals who significantly changed their lives after reaching age 50 and beyond. In partnership with the TODAY Show, they’re looking at how people have reinvented themselves later in their lives, often after experiencing major challenges. . . . Here are links to the five main stories posted this week….”

Inauthenticity at work and the fast track to a midlife crisis (2013) — “As a law student, lawyer, and law professor, I’ve spent a lot of time around people whose career ambitions are largely defined by others. To some extent, I have internalized some of those messages myself. But one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is to pick and choose wisely among these markers of achievement. If you fail to do so, you may find yourself living an inauthentic life (at least the part spent at work), and your psyche may struggle with the grudging realization that you’re pursuing someone else’s definition of success.”

Ch-ch-ch-changes: Some books to guide us toward good transitions (2012) — “As we turn the calendar to a New Year, I wanted to gather together some recommended titles for those who are engaged in or contemplating a major work or personal transition. In several instances I’ve borrowed from previous blog posts mentioning the books. If you’re in the midst of big changes, these books may prove a worthy investment in terms of your livelihood and well-being. I hope you find them helpful.”

What is a “Ulyssean adult,” and how can you become one? (2012) — “What kind of life do you want to live? And as age creeps up on you, how do you want to spend the rest of your life? . . . I recently discovered an intriguing book about adult development, The Ulyssean Adult: Creativity in the Middle & Later Years (1976), by the late John A.B. McLeish, a Canadian education professor. . . . Judging from The Ulyssean Adult, McLeish was not a warm and fuzzy self-help writer. His observations can be sharp-edged and may cause discomfort, as he was not one to pull punches.”

What’s your legacy work? (And how can you de-clutter your way to it?) (2011) — “What is your legacy work? In other words, how do you want to make your mark on the world? This potentially life-changing inquiry is a core idea of a book I’ve recommended in recent posts . . . , Chris Guillebeau’s The Art of Non-Conformity: Set Your Own Rules, Live the Life You Want, and Change the World (2010). . . . Guillebeau poses two simple questions: ‘What do you really want to get out of life?’ ‘What can you offer the world that no one else can?’ . . . In addition, I highly recommend Brooks Palmer’s Clutter Busting: Letting Go of What’s Holding You Back (2009) . . .. Palmer nails the psychology of how our material clutter frustrates our ability to live in the present and for the future.”

How’s this for an epitaph? “She lived a balanced life” (2011) — “Ultimately, aren’t we — and the world — better off for having made a positive difference in some way? You know, like starting a company, raising a family, helping those in need, contributing to the community, or inventing or creating or making or fixing something? As I see it, work-life balance should remain a priority for employment relations, but when it comes to individual lives, we need to embrace a much deeper set of questions. After all, does anyone really want to be remembered for having ‘lived a balanced life’?”

Does life begin at 46? (2010) — “Conventional wisdom about life’s journey, suggests The Economist magazine, is that our path is ‘a long slow decline from sunlit uplands towards the valley of death.’ If so, then why is the cover of the magazine’s year-end issue headlined ‘The joy of growing old (or why life begins at 46)’ . . . Conventional wisdom, according to research, is wrong. True, we start off our adulthoods pretty happy and become increasingly disenchanted as middle age approaches. However, our outlook then gets better as we age. The Economist cites research studies to back up its proposition, overcoming the presumption that this is more Boomer-inspired babble about how 60 is the new 40.

On happiness: If you’re going to spend, buy experiences, not stuff (2010) — “If you’re going to treat yourself to a little present, your happiness quotient is more likely to go up if you drop your money on a nice trip instead of a shiny new computer. Research on the ‘buy experiences’ vs. ‘buy stuff’ debate clearly sides with the former. “

Pursuing Creative Dreams at Midlife (2010) — “Dreams die hard is something of an old chestnut, but having entered the heart of midlife, I am thankful that this often is true.  I think especially of creative energies waiting to be tapped and unleashed, perhaps after some of life’s other priorities and responsibilities have been addressed, and pursued with the benefit of experience and maturity. Two long-time friends come to mind when I ponder this.”

Timothy Snyder on standing out

Historian Timothy Snyder (Yale) has written an important little book for our times, On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century (2017), which belongs on the must-read lists of change agents who are confronting abuses of power. Essentially it’s a 128-page expanded essay that can be read in an evening — and hopefully will be re-read to reinforce its core lessons.

Among the 20 short chapters of instruction, number 8, “Stand out,” resonates specially with me:

Someone has to. It is easy to follow along. It can feel strange to do or say something different. But without that unease, there is no freedom. Remember Rosa Parks. The moment you set an example, the spell of the status quo is broken, and others will follow.

For this chapter, Snyder draws heavily upon examples of heroism during the Second World War, especially that of Winston Churchill. Citing the Prime Minister’s political leadership and brave oratory, Snyder notes that “had Churchill not kept Britain in the war in 1940,” the Allied forces would never have had the chance to win the war. “Today,” writes Snyder, “what Churchill did seems normal, and right. But at the time he had to stand out.”

Of course, even in the fiercest of onslaughts, battles must be picked. Snyder briefly mentions the evacuation at Dunkirk in 1940, a massive operation that rescued what remained of the British expeditionary force after France fell to the Nazis. Dunkirk illustrates how fighting to the bitter end is not always the answer. Sometimes you need to retreat and regroup to fight another day.

History provides us with guidance only; it is not an instruction book. But as Snyder observes, “We are no wiser than the Europeans who saw democracy yield to fascism, Nazism, or communism. Our one advantage is that we might learn from their experience.”

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